That's where satan likes to throw those sucker punches...As if doubting myself wasn't enough- now he makes me doubt my role in the church. I was alredy doubting that, ever since I've moved, I don't quite feel like I fit in at the church down here, and my home church in Pueblo (the one I grew up in, since I was two weeks old) has changed so much since we moved down here that I feel more and more like a visitor everytime we go there.
So today, there was a men's meeting with our newly installed elders at 2p. Then, at 5p was supposed to be a ladies meeting (why they couldn't coordinate better is beyond me) to discuss the planning of a Ladies Day to be hosted at our church. Two of the women even made sure to ask me this morning if I was coming to it. Well, I was the ONLY one who showed up for the meeting. Everyone else got a phone call that it had been cancelled.
And my head says I know that it was an honest mistake, but my heart says "Why bother? Why try? I'm never gonna feel like I belong here..." But I want my heart to not feel that way, but I guess the baggage I carry will make this a fight I'll have with myself over and over, satan knows where to hit the hardest...
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2 comments:
sometimes...i hate church.
sorry that happened. keep hanging in there. :)
Well, Jayme said it best.
But, you're right...satan is just trying to keep you discouraged so that God can't use you as well. Don't let him!! (satan that is!)
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