Sunday, March 2, 2008

Below the belt...

That's where satan likes to throw those sucker punches...As if doubting myself wasn't enough- now he makes me doubt my role in the church. I was alredy doubting that, ever since I've moved, I don't quite feel like I fit in at the church down here, and my home church in Pueblo (the one I grew up in, since I was two weeks old) has changed so much since we moved down here that I feel more and more like a visitor everytime we go there.
So today, there was a men's meeting with our newly installed elders at 2p. Then, at 5p was supposed to be a ladies meeting (why they couldn't coordinate better is beyond me) to discuss the planning of a Ladies Day to be hosted at our church. Two of the women even made sure to ask me this morning if I was coming to it. Well, I was the ONLY one who showed up for the meeting. Everyone else got a phone call that it had been cancelled.
And my head says I know that it was an honest mistake, but my heart says "Why bother? Why try? I'm never gonna feel like I belong here..." But I want my heart to not feel that way, but I guess the baggage I carry will make this a fight I'll have with myself over and over, satan knows where to hit the hardest...

2 comments:

Jayme said...

sometimes...i hate church.

sorry that happened. keep hanging in there. :)

Laura said...

Well, Jayme said it best.

But, you're right...satan is just trying to keep you discouraged so that God can't use you as well. Don't let him!! (satan that is!)