Sunday, January 27, 2008

What the freak is wrong with me?!?!?!?!?

I still can't sleep!!! It's 12:15 in the morning, and I can't get to sleep...and if I do manage to drift off, I move, or get jostled, and I'm wide awake- for hours, not minutes. I had four such episodes last night... I am so beyond exhausted, I don't know how I am managing to function at all... I just don't know what to do, I've tried everything I know, and nothing works... My mind just won't shut off... and there are not many things that are sutible for watching on tv at this time of day either... you think that would bore me to sleep, but hasn't helped so far... sigh...sniffle...(yes, I have been brought to tears more than once over this...)


Jayme said...

I'm so sorry. I have a little trouble with insomnia...last night I didn't crash until about 2...after I read and read and did the dishes.

My problem is that Satan attacks my mind during the night. He is always bringing up things out of my past I wish I done differntly ... or gives me things to worry about...or plays on some insecurity of mine. Its hard to shut my mind off too.

I only mention that because you said you can't get your mind to turn off. You could try reading scripture aloud in your bedroom...and praying outloud for God to bless you with rest. You also might try leaving some Christian music on softly in your living room. I guess I just feel like if you fill up your physical space with His helps you fill up your spirit with his spirit...and then there isn't any room for anything else...

...and maybe you could find some peace and rest.

I don't mean that to sound like you have a spiritual problem or are being attacked spiritually...I just mean more of God is always a good thing right.

I love you...and I'll be praying God send you some rest. ;)

suezque said...

Thanks for the advice- and I understand what you are saying. I have had plenty of nights like that where all I could think about was past "what ifs". I think right now, my head is just bursting with so many ideas, I can't seem to make them stop (business stuff mostly) and I guess that, while it's not doubt or worry, it still could be from Satan, in the form of discontentment, and that is still sin, and I must address it as such. I am stuggling big time trying to find contentment in my present situation (work and isolation), and I haven't asked God for his help, like I should.
I did finally take Benadryl last night, and did get some sleep, but also know that I need to get the other situation under control if I truly want to find rest. Thank you for your prayers- it means a lot to me to know there are people who care and pray for me.
I love you :-)

suezque said...

And also, I ordered me a book/video called "Holy Yoga", I'm just waiting to get it in the mail. It's supposed to be yoga from a "christian" perspective... I think that something like that might help if I did it right before bed... we'll see. :-)